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Thursday, 26 June 2008

  • Eeek - and Developements

    Sorry about my last blog- got some hatemail from a few of you. I will try not to mix alcohol and writing in the future- or at least keep it in moderation.

    So what is a blog- "on ongoing narrative - a series of events that follows another series of events...." SO basically what I had been doing was shit. I now have reason to write- I need the mental exercise. lets just say these lines are warm up swings.... Many of you have enjoyed some or my short stories on here but truth be told I am very out of practice. I need some stimulation to return to my prolific ways.

    So what to do- for those of you that have the great displeasure of knowing me personally you know that my daily existence is a train wreck, hazmat spill, and a 70's raunchy porno with a LOT of bush!

    seee. Shit .. I just got kicked out of my bed because obviously my typing is too damn noisy!!! Soooo let me save here run over to the office and start penning away again.... be back kids.......

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

  • Today

    What a freaking day guys~ geez let me tell ya- with work it has been a little difficult to find time to find a story worthy of sharing... Lately I find that my daily existence is entertaining enough so with that I will share a bit. I got to spend some of my morning talking to an associate of mine that wants to work on a project with me. Get this- he thinks I should start working on a screen play! WTF like I have time for that. I mean if I could dedicate all my time to it then maybe it is something thatI could get into. Unfortunately I spent most of that time watching as women came in and out of the establishment to order an exhorbanantly priced cup of Java. I took them all in undressing them in my mind. Not all were good though some of them had images that I had to quickly chase out of my mind<shivers> but others, well that is what being a voyeur is all about.

    I am trying to figure out one thing though- the aereola and the nipple..... i am just amazed how sometimes even when full clothed you can really make them out. Growing up I had a predisposition, actually more like a mammalian suckling instinct to perkies of the pink half dollar variety! If I even suspected that ..... more to come

Thursday, 13 December 2007

  • Another WTF Moment??

    A 51-year-old "walk-on" coach (whether he walked on as a coach or coached walk-ons is unclear) for West High in California has been arrested for what seems to be pretty reasonable behavior.


    Police investigators don't know why Michael Anthony Smith allegedly tied up the four girls, ranging in age from 13 to 17, on separate occasions during the last year and a half, Torrance police Officer Dave Crespin said.

    In a related story, I could be head detective at the Torrance Police Department tomorrow. 

    "(The students) allege that Smith has engaged in inappropriate activity with them, such as putting tape over their mouths, taping up their hands and feet, and handcuffing them," Crespin said. "Thus far in the investigation, we've found no sex acts to have occurred." [...]

    Detectives arrested Smith on suspicion of false imprisonment, annoying children and sexual battery.

    Wow, annoying children are against the law?  This is the best news I've heard all day.  I can't stand the brats in my neighborhood.  I'm totally calling the police.

  • Sprint Fires YOU!



    Some things just never cease to amaze me. Ok I get it- Sometimes we just have enough of idiot customers and in many cases we secretly wish that we could just ship them all off to some deserted place and have them be gone! But it is seldom the case when a major company makes a philosophical stance about dealing with idiots that complain too much. In the case of Sprint, the bosses in the ivory tower decided "Screw 'Em!!!"
    Most of us have seen it or had to deal with a customer who just always has expectation that are out of reach and not even reasonable but as a boss that is pretty up there I just tell my teams hey- deal with it and I will back you. I just think that if your whole company takes the stance of--- "if WE think you complain too much, guess what, we are done with you because we choose to tell you that to us customer service means not hearing your gripes!"

    Great Job Sprint!

Saturday, 08 December 2007

  • And Back to Tasteless Tabloid Jazz....

    761-Hathaway3

    Anne Hathaway stories are my favorite, because they give me an excuse to post pictures of Anne Hathaway.  She's set to star in Bride Wars, opposite Kate Hudson, who tried to kill Owen Wilson by being a prude or something.

    Hathaway and Hudson will play best friends who are pitted against each other when their wedding dates clash. They compete for venues, services and guests, once it's clear that neither will step aside. [Variety]

    Chicks don’t know how to fight.  Everyone knows that when you disagree with someone, you strip to your skivvies and wrestle.  But oil up first, because it looks manlier, and that's important.  Either way, this movie sounds dumb, but I don’t care because Anne Hathaway’s boobs made me forget what I was going to type next.

    If you took a picture of me looking at a picture of Anne Hathaway, and zoomed in close enough to see inside my heart, you’d see Knüt and a bunch of other baby polar bears baking brownies and batting a beach ball back and forth with their noses.  Also, it would distract you from my giant boner.

El_Maduro

  • Visit El_Maduro's Xanga Site
    • Name: Humbert
    • Country: United States
    • Birthday: 9/28/1973
    • Gender: Male
    • Member Since: 11/28/2007

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About Me

  • I am the #1 most criminally-overlooked warm potato in the whole wide world, and am therefore predisposed for good conversation. Also, I have a foolproof method for picking winning lottery numbers, and even though I usually charge people for this information, I would whisper it to you for nothing...as long as we can get undressed for my camera first LOL. (I promise I will behave like a gentleman...) Besides all of that, I am smart and fun and have a wicked, dirty mind. And,they tell me I'm cute and huggable and smell mountain fresh. I am definitely well-read, have seen tons of good foreign movies, and know lots of useless things that make people laugh. Plus, I'm good with a razor and lotion, and like drawing on skin. And though, yes, I have a cynical streak a mile wide,I'm not averse to someone changing my mind. And I have nice black shoes and a really bad haircut...oh wait, that last one's not a good reason. Anyway, just come on and dive in and be shocked and amazed.

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    Ok so what is a chatboard anyways????